Pussified

Amidst the already ridiculous diatribe of pre-nuptial commotion, my sister has managed to thoroughly dampen my celebratory spirit with her antics. Thanks to her initial abridgement towards consideration, tradition and class in planning her wedding, I have sanctioned her appetence as 'white trash', since after all it is her 'special day. I mean take the fact that she chose to only have 1 sister in her wedding instead of both, yes I would be the excluded one. Or the fact that there is no bar (paying or otherwise), and instead we are urged to visit the hotel bar during happy hour to swill our spirits. Or the fact that familial mayhem ensued because, in collusion with my parents, she decided not to invite the entire side of her Patriarchal family to the wedding. Or her genius plan to host this wedding in Colorado at all, just so her fiance's whole family doesn't come, thus eliminating them by sheer distance.

She has now announced, and I say 'announced' with some adverseness, because announce would imply that she properly informed those involved/affected and had a conversation with them regarding the change in the arrangements. I personally was notified via a Facebook comment she posted, that I happened to read, which goes like this:

'I'm so excited! Emma is officially coming to the wedding to ride in her stroller down the aisle with the ring bearer'.


Seems innocent enough, unless you consider the following events:

1. Jadon was asked to be ring bearer two weeks ago, because 'last minute' they decided to have one. I was completely supportive of him serving his duty in the matrimonial bliss, since naturally I was excluded...as well as the girls.


2. I have yet to receive any communication from her that Jadon was now responsible for pushing Emma down the aisle. Which leads me to wonder...hhmm....if they needed someone to push Emma down the aisle, it could cause them to make a 'last minute' decision to include Jadon.


3. Emma, who is the topic of the derision, is my sister's CAT! The same cat, she dresses up regularly, takes the annual holiday photo of, and has a better health and nutritional plan than she does.


4. My mother, who will be in attendance front row, is HIGHLY allergic to cats, and a wafting errant cat hair within a 10 foot radius, would cause her to swell up like a horny blowfish.

My sisters quirky affections for felines have essentially taken priority over her nephew, and reduced him to the Cat Chaperone. Emma's Entourage. The Pussy Protector.

Poor J has been Pussified.