Holiday Glee

We have officially embarked on the Holiday Season. Mind you, Walmart started the festivities in September. Really? Do I need to buy Christmas lights while I'm picking up the economy 2 gallon jug of Hawaiian Tropic Suntan Oil. I think not!! (Yes it requires a lot of oil to slather this body down, but that will come in a later blog).
As another year finds us fat, happy, and worth slightly less than last year, thanks to the decline of our 401k, we begin the scramble for Christmas. For me I get to feel the pain 4 times over, since I decided to 'plan' my breeding schedule in early spring to ensure my children's birthdays would also fall during this time. Guess like 'mother like daughter', she didn't think through her ovulation schedule either, and ended up with three children born in January, including myself.
Another year of trying to find the perfect gift for everyone in the family. Fun, Right? As fun as shaving my nipples off with a cheese grater. Oh you know the feeling?
I have a unique clan with 'special' interests. So 'special' that most of the time I have no idea what to get them, and when I do decide...they already have it. Heaven forbid I get the 'wrong' gift, and then I'll have 364 days left to be reminded of my error, until I can rectify it next Christmas.

One of my sisters utilizes her free time away from her 'Medical' career, answering phones at a Doctor's office (go figure...that qualifies as a medical career), to dress HER CAT! Good Ole Mom is the worst, she is somehow dwindling away by the day, because no matter what size you buy her it's entirely too big...'A small? I can't fit that, how big do you think I am?'....really? At this rate we'll be shopping in the toddler section for her clothes in five years. Everything else she wants, she buys! I know because my dad uncomfortably brings it up when we visit, right after the 'Tour' of the house, where she points out all the 'crap' she's bought since you were last there. Ppffttt! I love the 'Tour', it's like taking a tour through a toddlers art show, that you financed. A bunch of crap you have no interest in and to add fuel to the fire, you are essentially financing the whole shindig. Those contrite objects of mediocrity will be constant reminders of all the nice 'shit' you could have bought with the inheritance money. 'Kids, sorry we didn't get to make that trip to Hawaii. Grandma needed a $4000 spoon cabinet'. Thanks Mom!

So I'm off to another great start for Christmas. Only 2 ideas, and 39 family members, 12 friends, 3 children, 3 pet-in-laws, 2 bosses, and 75 coworkers left to go.

Thanks Jesus! you couldn't have been born from a traditional conception in July, right?